Where are you?

Just remembered an incident.. Happened with a friend of mine..

Mr A was planning to visit the house of Mr B.

A was new to the city. B had given sufficient instructions on the route to be taken.

A was on the way and got confused about the route told by B. He calls B and asks for clarification.

B: where are you man?
A: I don't know..lost my way.
B: is there a coffee day around or a Ganesh bakery or Tripthi bar?
A: No man..can't find any of them. I am standing in front of some stray cows..now tell me the route.
B: what...Hmm..and laughs..

A finally reached B's home, both laugh over a cup of coffee.

Separation

Age had drained the moisture out of her. Though harmless, with weakened arms and a few new born in the house, she knew that she has to make space for them. She was bone dry from outside, when she decided to part ways from her siblings and parents. She snapped herself from the tree and fell down. A boy below the tree yelped in pain as the dry coconut crashed on his toe.

Posted in 3 word wednesday
Prompt - harmless, moist, yelp

Xerox - Short story

Image credit

Time was running out. 3 days to go for the close of the contest. The topic was absurd. Robin wanted to win. Desperate to win and show his girlfriend, Sheela that he is indeed creative.  

He remembered Sheela’s words – “Robin, none of your work is good. The college art department has rejected each one of your essays. Stories are pathetic. You are in a wrong department. Do not pursue creative writing. It’s not your game.“

The pressure to write a creative story within the short span of time on an abstract topic and more importantly win, was getting on to his nerves.

Finally Robin had an idea. He went to Google and typed in the abstract prompt. Jumped on to the 20^th page. Read a couple of articles and his story was ready. Robin was sure that nobody could catch his copycat act. “Why would anybody read the 20^th page of a Google search?” he thought. He patted himself for his creative thought.

A couple of weeks after the submission of the story, the results were out. Robin & Sheela watched the announcement in the college auditorium. His hopes were fading when his name was not in the top 3. But a big smile ensued on Robin’s and Sheela’s face when the jury announced the special award for Robin.  

Victoriously Robin walked towards the stage when his smile started to fade hearing the award citation.  

The best copycat award – an old scrapped Xerox machine goes to Robin.

"Despicable me" – Enjoyable and fun

Does a thief have a heart?
Can kids change adults?

Yes - is the answer to both the questions. How and why are answered by this cartoon movie – “Despicable me”.

The movie is about a thief and his adopted kids.
The hero has sights on becoming the biggest thief of the world by stealing the unimaginable. On this mission he has a cunning enemy. To tackle this enemy the hero adopts 3 kids. Little does he know that this would change his life.

The 3D effects are less but good. The scene in the roller coaster is a must watch. The unique vehicle of our hero is a spectacle to watch in 3D. The hero’s factory workers and the factory setup is fun to watch. The entire concept of theft is good, especially for the kids who had flocked the cinema hall. Mockery of some real life institutions are done well. The kids are cute.

More 3D effects could have been introduced. Lack of big names for voice recording has not given the much wanted publicity.

Overall a cool 4 star movie. Small lessons on life and the robbery concept are good. Watch with friends and family. It’s good fun.

Bye...For the last time!

It is hard to say “bye”. Even harder, when you know that it’s the last time you would say that. But I have to.

It is a long association we had. (Or should I say - it WAS a long association!) We met in the busy bazaar street of South Bangalore.  I liked her. Kind of love at first sight. Got her home. For a change, she was universally accepted at home! (There were some minor comments about her dark color.) She was with me since that day.

I remember those evening walks in the park. She made me feel comfortable after those tight day schedules. She gave me the freedom put my hands on her. And a new friendship started.

Pleasure knew no bounds when I started running with her in the cold mornings. I grew fond of her, for her company. I am more than thankful to her for accompanying me to the marathon, cyclothon and Duathlon. The journey was less strenuous and less stressful because of her.

Our friendship just grew leaps and bounds in the bed. Pleasant are those feelings when she was on me. I still feel bad for those hot summer nights when I kept her away from me. I know that she is too good and would understand me correctly. Never did she express any unhappiness or disappointments.

Cricket is a dusty game. Especially in the grounds and road I play. Tirelessly she stood, watched me play the game despite the Sun, dust and even rain. Her tireless encouragement will be remembered for days to come.

After all this, still I decided to say bye to her. Yes, it was I who decided it. But it was because of her.
Her last days had been fragile. She could not stretch herself.  Age had taken toll on her. Her beauty had faded. I refused to have her with me. Shameful, I thought. Finally, as I gave her the last wash, her body opened up. Tearing her apart.
That’s it. That was the last. I said bye to my dear 3 yr old, black pyjama.

SMS joke

Got this joke from a friend via a SMS.

Laughed a lot and could not resist sharing.

A guy sent his Engineering entrance exam rank to his friend via an SMS.
He received a reply back - "Hey, when did you get this new Airtel mobile number?"

Isn't this heights of insult?

Probably this is my shortest blog.

What was missing in this world cup?

Many of us missed the goals from Rooney, Messi, Ronaldo, Kaka. Media has starting writing about the curse of Number 10. But these are part of the actual football on field activities.

Off the field there are many things that catch main news space during the world cup. Some common ones which did not make news in this edition of FIFA world cup –

• Crazy hair styles of players
• Big discount sales on electronics in India
• Naked fan invasion to the ground
• English fans hooliganism
• Special delicacies based on the theme of world cup

• Messi mixture
• Lipi lolly
• Robben roti
• Villa vada
• Forlan faluda
• Puyol Palav

And

• Paul payasam

But the missing things were compensated by -

• Haunting music of Vuvuzela (did you realize that the logo of this world cup has vuvuzela in it?)
• Octopus predictions
• French revolution against their coach
• Debate on use of Technology
• The Jabulani ball

1st weekend of football world cup 2010

As the dark continent turned bright for the world's most watched sporting event, here are a few thoughts about the play.

 

Real Madrid latest buy - Vincent Enyeama?

Nigeria would have lost by 5 goals if their goalie Enyeama did not produce a match saving performance. He stood between Messi and goal atleast 5 times. Superb saves. The bosses at Real Madrid must now be thinking of getting Enyeama into Bernabeu. At-least then Real can thinking of stopping Barca's ace striker - Messi.

 

No Greenery in England

Reports of Robbery of Greens have been increasing in England. Interestingly the same reports are coming from USA. Analysts at Gopadi institute found the reason. English guys are on a killing spree on whatever is Green after Green robbed them of a victory against USA. In the USA, Green is the national hero. So anything Green is being robbed and saved as memorabilia of their 1-1 draw against the friendly enemies - Brits.

 

Pole - The last man standing

After Tshabalala goal of the tournament (so far) followed by the dance of the tournament, the pole prevented a victory for SA against Mexico. Mphela's strike managed to hit the woodwork saving the Mexican smile. 

After Green's blunder, the pole helped England salvage a draw against USA. The close kick took a deflection from Green's hand and hit the pole as USA drew 1-1. 

Ghana's joys would have been multiplied by 2 if Gyan's late strike hadn't hit the pole.

 

Veron theory

Juan Sebastian Veron has been selected by Maradona over Cambiaso. the old Veron has an interesting playing skill.

If an Argentina player gives him the ball, the ball will be kicked back to him.

If the opponent gives the ball to Veron (remember he cannot get the ball from the opponent, opponent has to give it to him), the ball will end-up either outside the play area or will be a missed pass.

Argentina plays just 10 men...Veron is just like a tree in the middle.

 

Australia to increase their Defense budget

In a late night announcement, Aussie prime minister has announced a steep hike in his defense spending. This came after he watched the Aussie team going down 4-0 to Germany. Asked for an explanation, the team coach Pim Verbeek said that they lacked the sting in their defense. Not used to massive defeats in any sport, Aussies are in deep mourning.

 

Messi, the Lampard of Argentina ?

Messi started the world-cup with 3 great passes...All 3 should have been in the net. Thanks to the blunt strikers, none were converted to goals. Frustrated with this, Messi started his attack on the goal. 4 to 7 strikes at the goal, all saved. Remember Lampard in the previous world-cup. 17 shots at goal and not a single one converted. Will Messi turn out to be the Lampard of Argentina. I hope not.

 

Serbia gets a new world class volleyball player

Zdravko Kuzmanovic is the new volleyball player of Serbia. The Serbian defender (in football) forgot that he was playing football. Leaped up in air, he played the best volleyball drop shot ever by a Serbian. Unfortunately the referee was spot on and so was Ghana's Gyan. Igor Kolaković, the Serbian volleyball coach has already sent a SOS for Kuzmanovic.

    

Inspired from ಬೀchi

I am back from my hometown. 3 days and 2 nights...Very refreshing weekend. I have material for some blogs...If time permits. Here's first one.

Most of the auto-rickshaws of my hometown have this written just below the back-rest of the driver, facing the passengers. 

Is this space optimization?

Kanglish?

Engnada?

Or just being smart?

For the non-Kannada people - "Do not keep your legs on this" is written in Kannada and English.

Remember how Rayasam Bheemasena Rao wrote his pen name - ಬೀchi

Alien games 2012 ?

There is a game character called Splork. This alien character, has one eye only. It has a tentacle with a hole on its head. Splork holds an equipment which has a couple of friendship bands (At-least they look like friendship bands). Have a look at the Splork below.

Splork

Now check the London Olympics game mascots - Wenlock and Mandeville.

The characters are born from steel drops. They are one eyed. The eye represents the camera lens. They have a London taxi light on their head. Wenlock has a couple of friendship bands in its arm. Much like the Splork.

Wenlock and Mandeville

Now can we call London games as Alien games!

Picture courtesy -

Splork - From the Peggle game website - http://www.popcap.com/

Wenlock and Mandeville - From the London Olympics games website - http://www.ourlondon2012.com/mascots/

Football WC - Team Bus slogans

FIFA announced the bus slogans for the football world cup. The slogans will be printed on the team's official bus. The slogans were selected via a contest organized by FIFA in association with Hyundai. Some slogans are very good. I just wanted to dissect them and bring out a funny meaning from the slogan. Here's my feeble attempt.


Algeria - Star and crescent with one goal: Victory!

Good to have a goal, but have to be realistic!

 

Argentina - Last stop: Glory

When is the last stop? 2014?

Australia - Dare to Dream, Advance Australia

Are they their followers - How dare you dream of Aus advancing?

Brazil - The whole of Brazil is in here!

Stampede and hence no football!

 

Cameroon - The Indomitable Lions are back

Read it -  The Indomitable Lions are back at home - there is no deer in SA to hunt.

Chile - Red is the blood of my heart, Chile will be Champion

Blue is the color of  sky, Chile will not be champions - Absolutely random

Côte d'Ivoire - Elephants, let's fight for victory!

Trying to fight? Elephants, lets physically run for victory!

Denmark - All you need is a Danish team and a dream

All you need is a Danish team For a beer!

England - Playing with Pride and Glory

Playing with Pride and Glory...not for victory!

France - All together for a new dream in blue

All "HANDS" together for a new dream

Germany - On the road to get the Cup!

Its hard to get in on the field!

Ghana - The hope of Africa

If Africa hopes on Ghana, God save Africa

Greece - Greece is everywhere!

Including your pockets and bank accounts!

Honduras - One Country, One passion, 5 Stars in the heart

One Country, One passion, 5 Stars in the heart but no cup

Italy - Italian Azzurro on African sky

Ok! What's on the earth? No space for Azzuries on SA land.

Japan -The Samurai spirit never dies! Victory for Japan!

Beware of Japan, Samurai war to be seen! Remind them it's football. 

Korea DPR -1966 again! Victory for DPR of Korea!

Decades behind schedule!

Korea Republic - The Shouts of Reds, United Republic of Korea

Shouting doesn't win cups, good football does.

Mexico - It is time for a new champion!

Inspiration for all first timers. Its time for you.

Netherlands - Don't fear the big five, fear the Orange eleven
Horror movie on cards...Don't fear though 

New Zealand - Kickin’ it Kiwi style
Wondering, how far can a kiwi kick a football!

Nigeria - Super Eagles super fan united we stand
I thought eagles fly...but these stand.
 

Paraguay - The Guarani lion roars in South Africa!
This is African safari...You will only hear lion roars. 

Portugal - One dream, one purpose… Portugal victorious!
Hope you wake up from the dream!

Serbia - Play with the heart, lead with a smile!
And we will win hearts, not cup!

Slovakia - Shake the green field: Go Slovakia!
Earth movers on the prowl!

Slovenia - With eleven brave hearts to the end
Oh, they already scripted the end. 

South Africa - One nation, proudly united under one rainbow
As hosts, they are advertising their nation and not football.

Spain - Hope is my road, victory my destiny
One victory and destiny is reached!

Switzerland - "C'mon Switzerland!"
C'mon we miss you at home!

Uruguay - The sun shines upon us. Go Uruguay!
We do not win the evening games, Sun doesn't shine then!

USA - Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Victory!

Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan and now South Africa - The Pursuit of Victory never ends.

PS - I did not participate in the contest. I do not intend to belittle the winners of the slogan contest. This blog is purely for fun.

   

Low full tosses, great catches and ...

Like the rest of India, I woke up on Saturday with an angry feeling after the humiliating loss to Aussies in the T20 world cup. It was a big one sided match and we lost miserably.

But that did not deter me from playing my weekend quota of cricket.

 

With more friends turning up for the matches, we decided on a 8 per side, 9 over match. Mr Y did some pathetic selection and the opposite team was loaded with batsmen. The first match was tragedy of sorts for us in Y's team. The ball was whacked all over the place. Mr R looked inspired by the Aussie openers blitzkrieg the previous night. He took the team total to 90+ including 18 from an over of Mr M. Though the chase began on a positive note, the tasking was too daunting for us. We eventually lost the game by 30+ runs.

 

We started the batting first in the 2nd match. End of over 1 and openers were back in pavilion. Within no time we were 8 for 4 in 4 overs. Then the opposition captain, Mr A decided to give the ball to his part time bowlers. Wides from the bowlers and some good batting from the last pair, took the total to 30+. This was like Aussies getting a target of 80 against Ireland in a 50 over game. The match result was a given for both teams. Without any struggle Mr A's team was cruising towards the target. Mr A sportingly rotated his batsmen, so that everybody gets a chance to bat. 7 runs to go with 5 wickets in hand and plenty of overs. Sun had started to remind us that it was summer. Then Y asked M to bowl (remember the same M who was thrashed for 18 in an over).

 

Everybody thought that the game would end in this over

Ball 1 - Low full toss - Phat came the bat - Ball was in air for a long long time. Mr Y puts down a sitter in long on. Drop number 1. Batsmen take 2 runs.

Ball 2 - Another low full toss - Phat came the bat - Ball was in air for a long long time. Mr AG takes it comfortably. Great catch number 1. Gone.

The rest of the over went without any notable event...The match had not ended.

 

Mr Y bowled (to be honest - threw) the next 6 balls and took the important wicket of Mr R.

So then what had to end by last over was dragged to the next over.

 

2 runs to win and 2 wickets in hand.

Mr M to bowl. Fielders close in.

 

Ball 1 - Yet another low full toss - Batsman whips it to short mid-on. Mr MVN jumps up, tosses the ball and takes the catch on 2nd attempt. Great catch number 2.

 

2 to win with 1 wicket in hand.

 

Ball 2 - Over pitched. Batsman edges. Keeper drops the sharp chance. Drop number 2. Batsmen take a single.

 

Match tied. 1 to win with 1 wicket in hand.

 

Ball 3 - Again a low full toss. Batsman defends it. Straight to fielder. No run.

Ball 4 - Oh...Again a low full toss. Again batsman whips it hard. Mr MKB (B stands for Bheem!) takes a blinder. One handed catch at silly mid-on. Great catch number 3.

Then the usual things happened - celebrations, dull faces discussing on how they threw the match etc etc.

 

So Saturday morning was the tale "Low full tosses, great catches, dropped catches and a Tied match"

    

Bet - we want to loose

We all take bets\challenges. In all bets, we want to win. 

But most of us also have taken a bet which we want to loose. Wondering what is this? Proceed further.

What is "Life Insurance"?

 Basically if you die, you want to give a better life to your dependents. Atleast financially they hold respect in society. 

But look at it in other way.

Its a bet you take with the insurance provider. The bet is death.

You say to the insurance company -  "I will die and so you will pay".

The insurance company tells you - "You will not die and so I will not pay".

This is the challenge.

From inside, you want the insurance company to win the bet.

And the funny part is  - you pay annually some amount to loose the bet. (they call it premium! Funny!)

        

Shabby Vs Neat

Ask yourself the question - Do i want to be neat or shabby?
Most of you would say "Neat". 

Now ask yourself the question - Am i neat or shabby?

I do not know what the majority would say...Probably the answer would be (like my answer) - "sometimes neat and sometimes shabby".

There is no big need to explain what are the advantages of being "Neat". Looks good, probably healthy, some cases being neat occupies less space, more lovable perhaps etc etc. 

Similarly, there's no big need to explain the disadvantages of being "Shabby". The opposite of all the above. So the preferred thing is to be "Neat".

I mostly tend to agree with the "Neat" followers. But in some cases, its advantageous to be shabby. Let me put a picture in front of you. 

Just to make clear, the picture has 3 objects - Mouse, Headphone, Mobile charger arranged in some fashion.

Your first thoughts about the picture would be - part A of the picture is "Neat" and hence the preferred way to arrange things. Part B is "Shabby", haphazard and best avoided. 

Now just assume the following -

The setup is in your home. Its night and you are sleeping (probably a very sound sleep after seeing your  favorite team winning the IPL match). A thief somehow sneeks into your home. He is busy gathering the goods that are lying around. He sees your Bose headphone (10k Rs). 

Part A arrangement - He picks it up easily and walks out.

Part B arrangement - He tries to pick the headphone in a hurry. He holds the headphone and pulls. The wires are entangled and the mouse falls off from the table, making a loud noise. You wake up & either catch or chase the thief.

Now - Ask yourself the question - Do i want to be neat or shabby?

hehe!

     

April 1 special

I wanted to try this today.

 

Board the BMTC volvo bus (500k) which gets me to office via our office cab route. 

Buy a ticket costing 10 Rs to a stop which 3 stops(DG bunk) from my stop. 

After this, in the subsequent 2 stops, ask the colleagues waiting for the office cab to board the volvo telling them that the office cab has met with an accident. 

They would buy bus ticket to office paying 45Rs. 

Then I get down at DG bunk and catch the office cab which comes 5 mins later.

 

I dropped the idea because it could become sensitive with not so many like minded people. They may get defensive and the fun portion goes for a toss.

I checked with some friends and got to know that they would have fallen for this fool's day special.

 

By the way - I am fooled by my wife already :-)