Do you know whats the value of the "Astrology" business in India? Don’t expect an answer. I don’t know. I think, its not even considered for accounting. Or cant be accounted. Or the best question - Why should it be accounted? (This gives me a special kick…Asking questions which do not have quick answers.)
Knowing the people around me & watching some of the TV shows (especially the early morning ones), I feel there is a big market for astrology. Astrology, according to me can be as powerful as the media business. And if the 2 combine well, it’s a killer.
I am looking for partners to invest in this business.
Astrology Business Ethics -
First have belief in Astrology. You know Astrology is a business of "Trust" (not that other businesses are distrustful…you know what I mean, Right?).
Business strategy -
Hire some "so called" astrolgers and some "so called" good software techies (I need a few software apps). Actually no need of testers. The astrolgers are grouped into categories - General, Sports, Politics, weather and economy. Oh! And Terrorism. Sub categories could be state politics, cricket, earthquake, Iraq, Usa, Pakistan……Those are implementation specifics..Lets first strategise.
The group of astrolgers associated with a category will predict the future of the anything in that category. Some CLEAR examples -
1. Sports - Tiger WILL reveal his secret affair with a famous Bollywood actress if he comes to India without black eyes.
2. Politics - Abhishek Bachchan's 1st child WILL join SP when Amar Singh becomes PM.
3. Weather - The next big earthquake of the world WILL kill 100+ people.
4. Economy - Reliance WILL buy Tata group if Tata sells everything (to others) but Tea business.
5. Terrorism - Indian Mujahiddin leader, Mehsud Khurram Khan WILL stay in a hut in the Afghan border of Pak till daybreak tomorrow.
Look at the conviction. WILL in bold. That WILL build Trust.
Publicity -
Yes. Yes. Yes. Its automatic.
These are breaking news in every Indian channel. Don’t you think so?
And there would be TV debates over this. And there would be blogs. And the housewives will converse with the neighboring housewives. And cab discussions will ridicule this. And people will tweet this. And And And…Oh so many things can happen. Already counting rupees in crores. Just the sports prediction can fetch millions of speculations and rupees.
Now that you need time to count the dollars in your account & my wife is laughing and calling me to watch the latest Breaking news - "Replica of Micheal Jackson's stolen underwear WILL be sold in Bangalore's city market". I leave you.
Become a partner!
Bye partners! Sleep well & Dream well!
More in part 2.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
When the pores open up
Bengaluru, Karnataka, India.
16.02.2010.
Night - sometime after I sleep. I did not check the time on my mobile.
I wake up suddenly (which doesn't happen often). Felt my forehead. Its wet. Same feeling as I caressed by neck. Bloody Sweaty. Am I sick? Confirmed No. Walked to the window to check if there is something called "WIND" to cool me. Leaves of the plants were sleeping without swaying. Wonder why they call window WINDow! Grrr!!! Drank some water. Back to bed. Sleep.
The act repeats some hrs (lets put it some time) later. Perhaps it was already 17.02.2010. I did not bother to go to the window. This time more pores of the body had vomited out the salty fluid. Sweat. Arms, stomach all wet. More water went in to feed the hungry body pores. Glass empty. Body lazy to walk to kitchen to fetch more H2O. Sleep.
It happened again. The pores of my skin had done it again. Woke me in sweat. Frustratingly checked the time. 2:53am. Cant the clock run faster? Grrr!!! again. Went to the kitchen. Noisily drank and fetched water(for the next refilling). Realized that the artificial source of WIND was off. Fan. How couldn't I think of it earlier? Switched it on. Sleep.
Trinn...Trinn...(whatever sound). Its 5:20am. 10 more mins(grace period) of sleep warned the mobile. Grrr!!! yet again.
And ended a bad night...began an interesting day.
This winter was short and not cold.
Wonder what would it be at peak summer months! Power cuts. Mosquitoes. Heat. The pores. Grrr!! Where is my sleep?
Welcome Indian summer!
16.02.2010.
Night - sometime after I sleep. I did not check the time on my mobile.
I wake up suddenly (which doesn't happen often). Felt my forehead. Its wet. Same feeling as I caressed by neck. Bloody Sweaty. Am I sick? Confirmed No. Walked to the window to check if there is something called "WIND" to cool me. Leaves of the plants were sleeping without swaying. Wonder why they call window WINDow! Grrr!!! Drank some water. Back to bed. Sleep.
The act repeats some hrs (lets put it some time) later. Perhaps it was already 17.02.2010. I did not bother to go to the window. This time more pores of the body had vomited out the salty fluid. Sweat. Arms, stomach all wet. More water went in to feed the hungry body pores. Glass empty. Body lazy to walk to kitchen to fetch more H2O. Sleep.
It happened again. The pores of my skin had done it again. Woke me in sweat. Frustratingly checked the time. 2:53am. Cant the clock run faster? Grrr!!! again. Went to the kitchen. Noisily drank and fetched water(for the next refilling). Realized that the artificial source of WIND was off. Fan. How couldn't I think of it earlier? Switched it on. Sleep.
Trinn...Trinn...(whatever sound). Its 5:20am. 10 more mins(grace period) of sleep warned the mobile. Grrr!!! yet again.
And ended a bad night...began an interesting day.
This winter was short and not cold.
Wonder what would it be at peak summer months! Power cuts. Mosquitoes. Heat. The pores. Grrr!! Where is my sleep?
Welcome Indian summer!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Why India lags in Innovation?
One agrees to it or not, we Indians lag in innovation when compared to nations like Germany, Japan, USA and France. Even if we disagree on this front, everybody have to agree that India has become an outsourcing destination not an innovation destination. Who is to be blamed (if at all there should be a blame) for this? Surprisingly, its the superiority and the inferiority complex of Indians that combine to pull India behind.
Inferiority complex
We love foreign. No harm. Harm is caused when we love foreign to the extent that we hate ourselves. Top companies think that we have to import goods and technology to make good products. There was a major project to reach outer space undertaken by a Indian research agency. When they were planning for this project, the first thought that came to the planners was - import the technology to manage the communication between earth and outer space. The consideration to use other research agencies within India was not done. Finally many parts of the mission came from abroad. But as a proof point to innovativeness, the organization set up an amazing hi-tech antenna developed and designed entirely in India.
How many times we talk about a local product cheaply? There is the foreign brand, the Chinese brand and then there is "the local maal sir". And in that priority. Locals are the most inferior. When we ourselves do not respect the local product, why would somebody invest into innovation of the same?
Superiority complex
Lets travel to a country where the innovation levels are better than that of India. Lets see their work culture and compare it with ours. Just to make it explicit - its an IT industry example.
A guy who is interested in coding continues to code for 20 yrs. He puts in all his effort into mastering the product and improving the product. Over a period of time the product is no longer a product, but is a passion. And passion drives excellence and innovation.
Lets come back to India. 10 yrs of experience, we see that the role of the person is to manage people...no technlogy. We take pride in telling that a person became a manager at 28 yrs. He or she automatically feels that they are superior over the others. Coding is considered inferior. This is a disease and spreads fast. The developers want to become managers and coding is considered a fresher job.
Now where is the innovation - It has to be from a customer requirement or from the developer coding the prj...Not the middle management. If the developers aim is to get up the ladder and become superior does he or she think of innovation?
(I wonder if today's brand of young managers can really do the management job for the next 20+yrs of their career. Wont it be boring?)
Indian manufacturing industries are slightly better in innovation. Because the guys there have put in years of service on the products they are building. The superiority complex of a manager is lesser there. During my college project at HAL, I have seen senior managers sitting on the lathe machine assisting the workers. A good lathe guy or a cutting specialist is recognised for his talent and is not looked down upon (paywise he gets less, but jobwise he commands respect). He continues to become an expert in that. The work is his passion and so he innovates using the lathe. This is at a grass-root level.
If one argues that Indians are less intelligent and hence less innovative, my one and only suggestion to them is -- come, stay, work in India. Understand Indian minds & society. Then you know how intelligent we Indians are.
Do we need to change? Changing minds can't be drastic.
Inferiority complex
We love foreign. No harm. Harm is caused when we love foreign to the extent that we hate ourselves. Top companies think that we have to import goods and technology to make good products. There was a major project to reach outer space undertaken by a Indian research agency. When they were planning for this project, the first thought that came to the planners was - import the technology to manage the communication between earth and outer space. The consideration to use other research agencies within India was not done. Finally many parts of the mission came from abroad. But as a proof point to innovativeness, the organization set up an amazing hi-tech antenna developed and designed entirely in India.
How many times we talk about a local product cheaply? There is the foreign brand, the Chinese brand and then there is "the local maal sir". And in that priority. Locals are the most inferior. When we ourselves do not respect the local product, why would somebody invest into innovation of the same?
Superiority complex
Lets travel to a country where the innovation levels are better than that of India. Lets see their work culture and compare it with ours. Just to make it explicit - its an IT industry example.
A guy who is interested in coding continues to code for 20 yrs. He puts in all his effort into mastering the product and improving the product. Over a period of time the product is no longer a product, but is a passion. And passion drives excellence and innovation.
Lets come back to India. 10 yrs of experience, we see that the role of the person is to manage people...no technlogy. We take pride in telling that a person became a manager at 28 yrs. He or she automatically feels that they are superior over the others. Coding is considered inferior. This is a disease and spreads fast. The developers want to become managers and coding is considered a fresher job.
Now where is the innovation - It has to be from a customer requirement or from the developer coding the prj...Not the middle management. If the developers aim is to get up the ladder and become superior does he or she think of innovation?
(I wonder if today's brand of young managers can really do the management job for the next 20+yrs of their career. Wont it be boring?)
Indian manufacturing industries are slightly better in innovation. Because the guys there have put in years of service on the products they are building. The superiority complex of a manager is lesser there. During my college project at HAL, I have seen senior managers sitting on the lathe machine assisting the workers. A good lathe guy or a cutting specialist is recognised for his talent and is not looked down upon (paywise he gets less, but jobwise he commands respect). He continues to become an expert in that. The work is his passion and so he innovates using the lathe. This is at a grass-root level.
If one argues that Indians are less intelligent and hence less innovative, my one and only suggestion to them is -- come, stay, work in India. Understand Indian minds & society. Then you know how intelligent we Indians are.
Do we need to change? Changing minds can't be drastic.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Why do people "Love to beat me"?
Before you proceed, let me make 2 things clear. One, I am not answering this question. Two, this is nothing to do with Valentine's day though there is Love in the title.
There have been several instances in my personal circle and in my official circle when I find people immensely happy when I loose to them (in other words, they love to beat me). This could be a card game in the cab or official discussion or a casual discussion with whomsoever or if its something to do with family matters or nothing. The instances show that this is a feeling is not with one or 2 individuals but with different set of people, with varied backgrounds and varied knowledge about me as an individual. Some guys know "how dumb I am" (i don’t want to say "how intelligent I am". I want to be modest :-) Both are relative terms.). Some have seen only my jovial side of life. Some only my serious side. And they have not met each other even in this facebooked and orkuted world.
Still they share a common trait - "Feel happy when Manjunath is beaten by them".
Here are some examples -
You think its common among enemies. But I don’t think these guys are my enemies. I can for sure tell that some of these "LoveToBeatManjunath" guys are my good friends (so far). Pretty sure that enemity is not the reason.
Monetary benefits - NOOO! The football betting or the card games are just fun time pass events. There is no money involved. Sometimes there is not even a juice involved.
Official growth - Again NOOO! And no further comments!
Is it that they have a similar fighting instinct on others - NOOO! In fact sometimes people gang up (birds of same feather ....) to beat me.
Then what?
PS -
As a tribute to St Valentine - Ending on a love note -
I love the way I am and I love to change..
And keep up the spirit of "LoveToBeatManjunath"!
If you know me well - you also know I am not serious about this.
There have been several instances in my personal circle and in my official circle when I find people immensely happy when I loose to them (in other words, they love to beat me). This could be a card game in the cab or official discussion or a casual discussion with whomsoever or if its something to do with family matters or nothing. The instances show that this is a feeling is not with one or 2 individuals but with different set of people, with varied backgrounds and varied knowledge about me as an individual. Some guys know "how dumb I am" (i don’t want to say "how intelligent I am". I want to be modest :-) Both are relative terms.). Some have seen only my jovial side of life. Some only my serious side. And they have not met each other even in this facebooked and orkuted world.
Still they share a common trait - "Feel happy when Manjunath is beaten by them".
Here are some examples -
- Person prefers to finish "last-but-one" in the card game, but plays all tricks to place me on the bottom of the winners list. If its not clear - winning is not the motto. Beating me is.
- Football betting - Same here, the person wants to beat me even if he doesn’t win.
- If you think cricket is a level playing field. You are wrong. There are guys who want to smash my bowling in particular (more often I oblige :-), not because I am a bad bowler, but to see them happy). But here in cricket, I am not singled out to beat...There are several of my friends who have a special (dis)liking to a special person (cricketwise only...not otherwise).
- Guy wants to prove my notion of any official work wrong. He is silent in the meeting until I open my mouth. And once that happens, in no time there are comments and counter-comments. The best part - our work is rather like those geometrical lines which never meet, nor go in same direction. Still proving me wrong is the biggest nasha\kick.
You think its common among enemies. But I don’t think these guys are my enemies. I can for sure tell that some of these "LoveToBeatManjunath" guys are my good friends (so far). Pretty sure that enemity is not the reason.
Monetary benefits - NOOO! The football betting or the card games are just fun time pass events. There is no money involved. Sometimes there is not even a juice involved.
Official growth - Again NOOO! And no further comments!
Is it that they have a similar fighting instinct on others - NOOO! In fact sometimes people gang up (birds of same feather ....) to beat me.
Then what?
PS -
- I have found that people who "LoveToBeatManjunath" have not harmed me. There has never been a physical assault on me. Never have I been verbally abused by these friends. And the big hope is that it stays this way.
- I do not know, if it is my arrogant personality (read both words separately) that makes them "LoveToBeatManjunath" guys. And I do not know - if I will change by knowing the reason. I may, if the reason is valid and the change is worthy.
As a tribute to St Valentine - Ending on a love note -
I love the way I am and I love to change..
And keep up the spirit of "LoveToBeatManjunath"!
If you know me well - you also know I am not serious about this.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Mind games - Change in Me
Got up in the morning today. Suddenly felt that something about me is going to change in near future. I have absolutely no signs of any change. Get a weird feeling that it could be my job. Could it be further studies? NOOOO! Don't know whyI am really thinking of this...
Yes, there's a reason. Recently a friend of mine showed me, how my sixth sense predicted something good that happened to another friend of mine. For reasons best known to me, I can't elaborate this again.
So my sixth sense is giving me a creepy feeling!
Is it a good change or a bad change? Let me face the inevitable and .."Aal iz well" (for now at-least).
Hey! As I write this, Realized again that I do not know when to put a comma(,) in a sentence. Makes the blog a hard read? English written communication needs to improve. Is that the change?
Just realized that the previous blog could have been named "Pati, Patni Aur Woh".
Again, don't ask for elaboration. SAP employees probably can guess why.
Yes, there's a reason. Recently a friend of mine showed me, how my sixth sense predicted something good that happened to another friend of mine. For reasons best known to me, I can't elaborate this again.
So my sixth sense is giving me a creepy feeling!
Is it a good change or a bad change? Let me face the inevitable and .."Aal iz well" (for now at-least).
Hey! As I write this, Realized again that I do not know when to put a comma(,) in a sentence. Makes the blog a hard read? English written communication needs to improve. Is that the change?
Just realized that the previous blog could have been named "Pati, Patni Aur Woh".
Again, don't ask for elaboration. SAP employees probably can guess why.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Why 2 CEOs or why not?
Since the time when SAP announced that it will have 2 CEOs at the helm, there have been multiple comments speaking about the concept. Not all that has been spoken negatively is wrong. At the same time not all that is spoken positively on the topic is true. I also gave it a thought on this topic. Probably my thoughts are tangential to the business topic here. But, I feel there should be some logic of 2. Explain "why everything in the world around us are in twos?" And probably this can provide answers to the title of blog...
Wait - If we are not in 2, then we are many…fingers (and hence the nails), hair, teeth, numbers, alphabets, languages (spoken and computer ones..isn't it sic!), mental states..blah blah (see this generally comes in 2)
But…Hold on, I am not done yet!
If you agree all - this blog is comprehended and controlled by just ONE (yes, not TWO) thing…The BRAIN. But the brain has 3 parts (don’t even try to doubt me on this Biology aspect. Blame Google if its wrong.).
This now explains everything. CEO's are the brains of the company. They comprehend ideas and control things. And Brain is really complex. Don’t think that SAP has 2 BRAINS. We have 3 parts of ONE BRAIN identified clearly. The world knows the names of 2 parts. All SAP stakeholders, analysts and employees know the 3rd part.
So everything falls in place now.
Q.E.D. (Quite Easily Done)
Disclaimer : This blog(not the blogger) is totally crazy. i.e. Reader cannot judge the writer's (in)saneness in this blog. Multiple reads are strongly recommended to find sense in this blog. Failure to make sense is clearly your personal failure.
- We are born by the accident of 2 things…sperm and egg. (never heard of any use of one without the other)
- We all have 2 parents (and they have 2 parents too and so on)
- The govt of India, recommends 2 kids per couple…(ಆರತಿಗೆ ಒಬ್ಬಳು, ಕೀರ್ತಿಗೆ ಒಬ್ಬ …roughly translates to - a girl for household and a boy for glory...this could make the feminists flare up)
- We have 2 ways on the road, probably because of evolution from accidents.
- We generally have 2 ways into and out of a building…(remember the fire-exit of your office…if your office doesn't have one, quit today and look out for another job. Remember - Life (without burns) is precious).
- Of-course normally we have 2 hands(to type such crap), 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 ears etc etc.
Wait - If we are not in 2, then we are many…fingers (and hence the nails), hair, teeth, numbers, alphabets, languages (spoken and computer ones..isn't it sic!), mental states..blah blah (see this generally comes in 2)
But…Hold on, I am not done yet!
If you agree all - this blog is comprehended and controlled by just ONE (yes, not TWO) thing…The BRAIN. But the brain has 3 parts (don’t even try to doubt me on this Biology aspect. Blame Google if its wrong.).
This now explains everything. CEO's are the brains of the company. They comprehend ideas and control things. And Brain is really complex. Don’t think that SAP has 2 BRAINS. We have 3 parts of ONE BRAIN identified clearly. The world knows the names of 2 parts. All SAP stakeholders, analysts and employees know the 3rd part.
So everything falls in place now.
Q.E.D. (Quite Easily Done)
Disclaimer : This blog(not the blogger) is totally crazy. i.e. Reader cannot judge the writer's (in)saneness in this blog. Multiple reads are strongly recommended to find sense in this blog. Failure to make sense is clearly your personal failure.
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